Moments From

Opposites Attract
Sonya Jackson, Veteran Roguer

Relationships, relationships, will their curiosities always fascinate and elude us? Truly, the exploration of us human's actions and reactions to each other warrants further investigation. And this show does just that! Familiarity of the character's experiences may make bring tears, jeers, and laughs to you, as it did for me. The vignette with the couple who only want the other when the other doesn't want them was hilariously hitting the mark, as were many other scenes. If you want to laugh at yourself (and we all should in order to remain mildly sane), SEE THIS SHOW!

Rogue Tales
The Fresno Bee

Best act to take a partner to: With eight vignettes lasting just a few minutes each, the topic is the driving point in the one-act "Opposites Attract" while the participants merely serve as the vehicle to get us to writer Bruce Kane's desired destination.

Kane has his theories about what we want from our partners, ... and it's still fun to see local actors look foolish for doing and saying what most of us have thought at one point or another.

The comic scenes range from parable — a man and woman go through an evolution of a courtship and relationship in the span of one night at a bar, climaxing with the line: "Just tell me what you want and I will withhold it" — to the absurd — a married couple's commitment is tested only by their Tuesday night trysts with other partners. The show has an intimate feel that is engaging, and its 45-minute running time never allows it to be overbearing.

Los Angeles Dramalogue

"10 quick takes on the dating game... the sketches move quickly and devastatingly".

The Betchworth Festival
by Julian Chenery

"... in my opinion... the highlight of the night"

Shaking Fist Productions

"Thank you very much for allowing us to perform your play. It turned out better than anyone could have expected. You have written a wonderful script and we would be interested in anything else you have written.

Again thank you."

The modular nature of the play allows companies to sometimes choose the vignettes they wish to perform as separate short plays.

"Opposites Attract" was most recently performed at the Rogue Festival in Fresno, California and by the Phoenix Ensemble in Queensland, Australia. The play has been performed in Los Angeles, England, Canada, Peru, Taiwan and other theatres throughout the United States including Brevard College's Morrison Playhouse, St. Agnes Academy, Houston, TX, Coffee Creek Playhouse and OCT in New York

BEDFELLOWS

Time: The Present
Place: A bar.

(BETTY, a Valley housewife enters and addresses the audience.)

BETTY: Hi. My name is Betty Corbin. I'm thirty eight years old. I'm trying to lose eight pounds.

(She sits on a end stool.)

(DAVE enters)

DAVE: (To audience) I'm Dave Corbin. I'm thirty nine. Today my top spin forehand was devastating... I won six-three... Six-four.

(He sits on the center stool.)

(SHELLEY, a sexy young woman enters)

SHELLEY: (To Audience) My name is Michelle. But everyone calls me Shelley. I'll be twenty eight next month. I still wear a size six.

(She sits on the third stool.)

BETTY: I have a lovely home in the Valley. Five bedrooms, three and a half baths.

DAVE: My office is in Century City.

SHELLEY: I own a condo in what the real estate ladies like to refer to as Beverly Hills adjacent.

BETTY: I'm a housewife.

DAVE: I'm an attorney.

SHELLEY: I run my own interior design firm.

BETTY: I have two kids and a cat named Socks. He was given to us by my Uncle Ned. He's a Democrat. Uncle Ned that is. Millie is a cheshire.

SHELLEY: I've never been married.

DAVE: I drive an 89 BMW. It's my pride and joy.

BETTY: I've been married to the same man for fifteen years.

SHELLEY: I've been sleeping with the same man for eight months.

DAVE: I play tennis twice a month with Barbra Streisand's lawyer.

BETTY: My husband is a wonderful man. He takes very good care of me and the kids.

DAVE: They deserve it.

SHELLEY: My lover and I see each other whenever we can.

DAVE: Neither of us likes to be crowded.

BETTY: It's not the same as it was when Dave and I first got married. Then, he'd call me up in the middle of the day... right out of the blue... and tell me to wait for him in bed. I loved sex in the afternoon.

DAVE: I was in law school then. There was time.

BETTY: He doesn't come home in the afternoon anymore.

DAVE: Hell, it's forty five minutes from the office to the house alone. And that's if there's no traffic on the freeway.

SHELLEY: I sometimes think the only attraction I hold for Dave is the proximity of my apartment to his office. He can be in and out before anyone at the firm misses him.

DAVE: It goes much deeper than that. I love being with Shelley. She's bright... beautiful... independent... Never demanding... Last week I took her to Las Vegas with me for a lawyer's convention. Just the two of us for the whole week. It was great. We had a wonderful time.

SHELLEY: He did take me to Las Vegas for a week. He said we'd have all kinds of time to be alone. We were alone alright. He didn't want any of his pals to see us together.

BETTY: Dave works very hard. And we try to get away when we can. He really wanted me to go with him to Las Vegas last week. He had this lawyer's convention. He said we could turn the whole thing into a second honeymoon and it would all be tax deductible. I was looking forward to it... Then the kids got the flu and Dave had to go by himself.

DAVE: It would have been a second honeymoon. But just because Betty couldn't make it, I saw no reason why I should go alone.

SHELLEY: I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining. Dave and I have a very good relationship. We like each other. The sex is good and I'm not limited to just one man.

DAVE: I didn't know that... About not being limited.

BETTY: Don't think I'm not grateful for my life. It's hectic and we don't get as much time away from the kids as we'd like, but it's a good life.

SHELLEY: I have my independence.

BETTY: I have security.

SHELLEY: I have a great job.

BETTY: I have a wonderful home.

SHELLEY: I drive a red convertible.

BETTY: We paid off the station wagon last month.

SHELLEY: My apartment has a built in sauna.

BETTY: We've got our own pool.

SHELLEY: Dave says I'm the fulfillment of every erotic fantasy he's every had and he dressed me in garters, black seamed stockings and stiletto heels to prove it.

DAVE: A guy's gotta have some fantasy fulfillment.

SHELLEY: I don't mind.... Really.

BETTY: Dave never fails to compliment me on my cooking. He says eating my lasagna is the closest thing to sex he's ever encountered.

DAVE: I'm not ashamed to admit it... I've got it all... A successful law practice... A beautiful home... Two terrific kids... A wife who never complains... And a girlfriend with legs like a Rockette... And an 89 BMW.

SHELLEY: Who would have ever believed it? Here I am at age twenty eight with everything I ever wanted... And I don't know where the hell I'm going.

BETTY: I'm right where I belong... Why do I feel like I haven't been anywhere?

DAVE: I couldn't be happier.

SHELLEY: The business, the bills, the clients, the suppliers, the phone... What does it all mean?

BETTY: The kids, the house, the car pool, the gardener, the PTA. My life isn't my own.

SHELLEY: I want a little security... Is that too much to ask?

BETTY: I want to be independent... Have a life of my own.

SHELLEY: I'm lonely.

BETTY: I'm bored.

SHELLEY: I want a home.

BETTY: : I want adventure.

SHELLEY: I want children.

BETTY: I want freedom.

SHELLEY: I want to be loved.

BETTY: I want to thrill to the touch of new hands on my body.

SHELLEY: I want to wake up with the same man every morning.

BETTY: I want to drive a red convertible.

SHELLEY: I want a Volvo.

BETTY: I want to be some man's wet dream come to life.

DAVE: I want a serve like Pete Sampras.

SHELLEY: (turns to Dave) I want to get married.

BETTY: (turns to Dave) I want a divorce.

(There's more to "Bedfellows" which is followed by...)

LOIS &

(Lois, a well dressed woman sits with a love smitten man)

LOIS: Of course, I love you Mason. You're kind and gentle. You're steady... Reliable... Dependable... I know a life with you would be steady.... reliable... dependable.

MASON: I'd always look after you, Lois. You know that.

LOIS: You'd never give me reason to worry, would you?

MASON: I'd see to it that you never had a trouble in the world.

LOIS: I know that you're not the kind of man who'd ever cheat on me.

MASON: You have my solemn word.

LOIS: Robert was always leaving me alone.

MASON: I'd be with you night and day.

LOIS: Robert would be gone for days without telling where he was going.

MASON: I'd report to you hourly. You'd know where I was night and day.

LOIS: I never who he was with. Although I eventually learned about... the women.

MASON: You're the only woman I need, Lois.

LOIS: That's when he started sending me flowers... Every time he strayed he'd send me flowers... Endless bouquets of flowers. Peace offerings. (The following list is spoken with rising emotions) Mums, roses, carnations, lilies, birds of paradise, begonias, asters, impatiens, pansies... He filled every room in the house with them.

MASON: Appalling.

LOIS: (orgasmic) The scent was intoxicating.

(Lois returns often)

"THE MASOCHISM TANGO"

(Ted enters and looks around. He sees Barbara sitting alone at the bar. He moves to her for a closer look. He circles her for a few moments, then moves in.)

TED: I love you.

BARBARA: What?

TED: I love you.

BARBARA: Are you talking to me?

TED: Yes... I love you.

BARBARA: You don't even know me.

TED: That's why I love you.

BARBARA: If you'll excuse me.

TED: I've been looking for you all my life.

BARBARA: I've heard that line before.

TED: I mean it. You're perfect. Your nose is perfect. You hair is perfect. Your lips are perfect. Your legs are perfect. And... Your breasts are perfect.

BARBARA: I'm going to have another drink.

TED:I need you.

BARBARA: I have no need to be needed.

TED: Perfect. I need a woman who has no need to be needed.

BARBARA: Well I don't need a man who needs a woman who has no need to be needed.

TED: I want you.

BARBARA: I'm unobtainable.

TED: That's why I want you.

BARBARA: I beg your pardon.

TED: I only want women I can't have. They never disappoint me.

BARBARA: That must make for long lasting relationships.

TED: Sarcasm in a woman turns me on.

BARBARA: We'd never get along.

TED: Is there someone else?

BARBARA: No.

TED: Are you emotionally involved?

BARBARA: I never get emotionally involved.

TED: Marry me.

BARBARA: I could never marry a man who actually wanted me.

TED: Of course.

BARBARA: A man who wanted me would also need me.

TED: I need you.

BARBARA: I know. That's why you can't have me.

TED: Have you ever been in love?

BARBARA: Hundreds of times.

TED: What happened?

BARBARA: They didn't know I was alive. It was wonderful. Have you ever been married?

TED: No. Gwyneth Paltrow wouldn't return my calls. If I told you I didn't need you, didn't want you and didn't love you, what would you do?

BARBARA: Throw myself at your knees.

TED: I don't need you, I don't want you and I don't love you.

BARBARA: If only I could believe that.

TED: You hold no appeal for me at all.

BARBARA: Please stop.

TED: There are thousands of other women I'd rather be with. Millions...

BARBARA: I won't listen to your honeyed words.

TED: Kiss off, baby.

(She throws herself at his knees)

BARBARA: I'm yours.

(He pulls her to her feet. They kiss. During the kiss his eyes wander.)

TED: Do you know that woman over there?

BARBARA: Which woman?

TED: The blonde with the perfect nose, perfect hair, perfect legs and perfect breasts.

BARBARA: Forget it. She has a husband and a lover.

TED: I want her.

BARBARA: You can't have her.

TED:I know.

(He starts to leave)

BARBARA: I thought it was me you didn't want.

TED: I've lost interest.

BARBARA: You can't. I need you.

TED: You're stifling my growth as a person.

BARBARA: She won't give you the time of day.

TED: Thrilling, isn't it?

BARBARA: But I want you.

TED: My heart belongs to another.

BARBARA: How can you walk out on me like this? After all we meant to each other. Can you forget the way I ignored you? Resisted you? Treated you like dirt?

TED: It was great while it lasted, baby, but it's over.

BARBARA: Nobody kept you at arm's length like I did.

TED: Until she came along.

BARBARA: You're breaking my heart.

TED: It's the least I can do.

BARBARA: What does she have that I don't have?

TED: She's unobtainable.

BARBARA: Well, then... Go after her. See if I care.

(He leaves. Barbara sits alone. After a beat or two, Ted returns

TED: Hi baby.

BARBARA: Oh, you're back.

TED: She told me to get lost. I nearly came in my pants.

BARBARA: I know I'm the only one for you.

TED: I'll never forget the way she looked right through me like I was a windshield.

BARBARA: You don't throw away what we had so quickly.

TED: Baby, I'm back.

BARBARA: Get lost.

TED: What?

BARBARA: I said, get lost.

TED: Nice try.

BARBARA: I mean it.

TED: I get it. Turnabout is fair play.

BARBARA: Hit the bricks.

TED: You're turning me on.

BARBARA: Take off.

TED: But, I love you.

BARBARA: Tough.

TED: I need you.

BARBARA: (smiling) I know.

TED: I want you.

BARBARA: Sorry, pal. You don't satisfy my needs.

(There's more... much more to this vignette and others)

Some of the other vignettes concern an open marriage in trouble when one of the partners reveals he is not "fooling around"; a half a night's stand; a couple fresh out of therapy who are more taken with their new found openness than with each other and more adventures of Lois, the new men in her life and the old one who still haunts her