Moments from

“CAUGHT IN THE ACT”
A One Act Comedy
For Two Trapped Characters
By Bruce Kane

"Caught In The Act" is a story of choice versus destiny played out by two frustrated characters trapped in the fifteenth draft of a one act play.

Copyright: Bruce Kane Productions 2004
All Rights Reserved
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"Caught In The Act" is protected by copyright law and may not be performed
without written permission from Bruce Kane Productions. To obtain permission go to www.kaneprod.com/ contact.htm and complete the Contact Us Form.

IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT REQUIREMENTS All producers of "Caught In The Act" must give credit to Bruce Kane as sole Author of the Play in all programs distributed in connection with performance of the Play and in all instances in which the title of the Play appears for any purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or production thereof, including posters, souvenir books, flyers, books and playbills. Bruce Kane must also appear immediately following the title of the Play and must appear in size of type not less then fifty percent of the size of type used for the title. The Author’s name must be equal to or larger than the Director's, but never smaller than that of the Director. The above billing must appear as follows: "Caught In The Act" by Bruce Kane.

WARNING No one shall make any changes to this play for the purpose of production. Publication of these plays does not imply its availability for production.

(This an excerpt from "Caught In The Act". Click on Download Scripts to purchase the complete script)

“CAUGHT IN THE ACT”

(Lights Up on Annie and Don sitting up in bed, side by side, under the covers. Annie is attractive and in her late twenties. Don is nice looking and in his early thirties

DON: So… Amy… How was it?

ANNIE: How was what?

DON: It.

ANNIE: It?

DON: You know.

ANNIE: No, I don’t know.

DON: The sex. How was it?

ANNIE: What sex?

DON: Us… You and me…

ANNIE: We haven’t had sex. And my name isn’t Amy.

DON: It isn’t?

ANNIE: No. It’s Annie.

DON: I thought it was Amy.

ANNIE: It was.

DON: (confused) What do you mean, it was?

ANNIE: In draft numbers three, five and nine.

DON: Drafts? What drafts?

ANNIE: Play drafts. This is the fifteenth.

DON: What are you talking about?

ANNIE: Play drafts. You’re a character in a play. You knew that, didn’t you?

DON: (confused) No.

ANNIE: We both are. Characters… Only right now it’s not exactly a play. It’s more a work in progress. Except the writer isn’t making much… Progress that is.

DON: How come you know all this and I don’t?

ANNIE: He’s deleted all your dialogue.

DON: He?

ANNIE: The writer. You’ve been re-written so many times, it’s a wonder you know your own name.

DON: Ted.

ANNIE: Don.

DON: Don?

ANNIE: Don.

DON: When did I become Don?

ANNIE: In the new stage directions.

DON: What the hell are stage directions?

ANNIE: The stuff in parentheses that describes the set, the characters… emotions, action…That sort of thing.

DON: I’ll have to pay more attention.

ANNIE: Anyway, before the last rewrite you were Ted. Before that Ken, Bob, and Tom.

DON: All three letter names.

ANNIE: Easier to type.

DON: What’s wrong with me that he has to keep changing my name and deleting everything I say?

ANNIE: He’s not sure what you want?

DON: I’m here… in bed… with you. What’s to figure out?

ANNIE: Don’t look at me. It’s not my fault.

DON: You’re saying it’s me?

ANNIE: Yep. That’s what I’m saying. It’s you.

DON: Is there something wrong…like with my plumbing or something?

ANNIE: Not that I can tell.

DON: Then what’s the deal?

ANNIE: You’re the noble one in this piece. You want more than sex.

DON: There’s more?

ANNIE: Apparently.

DON: Like what?

ANNIE: A real relationship.

DON: (surprised) I want a real relationship? Not you… Me.

ANNIE: That’s right.

DON: And what do you want?

ANNIE: To get laid.

DON: I see. No, I don’t see.

ANNIE: I want it for the wrong reason.

DON: There’s a wrong reason for wanting to get laid?

ANNIE: I want it as a form of reassurance… A way of validating my attractiveness… My sexuality.

DON: You’re kidding. Why would you need reassurance?

ANNIE: My husband… Ed… Phil… Roger… Arnie… left me for my best friend… or an aerobics instructor or a co-worker. I’m not to clear at this point. I’m feeling rejected and I’m using you to reassure me that I’m still desirable.

DON: Using me?

ANNIE: You’re a reluctant participant.

DON: Reluctant? Because I want a real relationship. (Annie nods) Is this writer… (points upward)… gay?

ANNIE: I have no idea… But, this is a nice change

DON: What change is that?

ANNIE: Your attitude.

DON: What about it?

ANNIE: For the first time in fourteen drafts you don’t seem so reluctant… You actually seem interested.

DON: I am.

ANNIE: Maybe he’s going in a new direction.

DON: I wouldn’t know. But I see no reason not to be interested. Very interested.

ANNIE: I don’t want to get my hopes up. That’s all this guy does… is go in new directions.

DON: What can you tell me about me, besides that I want a (mockingly) “real relationship”?

ANNIE: You’re a dentist.

DON: Have I always been a dentist?

ANNIE: That’s never changed. He thinks dentists are funny.

DON: Dentists funny?

ANNIE: What can I tell ya?

DON: Then this is not a comedy, is it?

ANNIE: Not intentionally.

(The play continues...)